The Courage To Let Yourself Be Seen
The Courage To Let Yourself Be Seen
What is courage? The root word of courage is Latin cor - the word for heart. The meaning of courage was originally to live from the heart. The way we use the word courage now is very different - we might think of a hero or someone who puts their life on the line. Everyday courage is not life-threatening or risking everything, but the simple act of letting our hearts be seen - which is no less scary!
Being seen and loved is what we most long for, the desire underneath all other desires. However, it takes great courage to really let ourselves be seen. Why is it that we hold ourselves back from this most basic longing?
It’s likely that as children our caregivers unknowingly or knowingly praised us for behaving in certain ways and discouraged others. Even as children we are highly receptive and are able to pick up on very subtle cues of approval or disapproval from those around us, especially our primary caregivers. Our longing to be taken care of overcame the longing to be truly seen as we are. In our need for love and belonging, we put on masks that please others in order to be accepted or respected by our fellow humans. This need to fit in is a very intelligent survival response but leaves the deeper need of being truly seen unmet.
The masks we wear may serve their purpose in allowing us to survive, but at what cost? I know that personally the ache to be truly seen has outweighed the desire to stay safe and hidden behind the masks that please others. Staying safe behind the mask also meant manipulating or even disappearing who I really am. It feels no longer possible to deform myself in order to fit into the old ideas of who I thought I should be. And yet, I’ve found that to really allow myself to be seen requires a tremendous amount of courage.
The courage started with honoring the ache within. I had to first climb deep inside my own feeling body and acknowledge the pain it was carrying from all the years of wearing masks. I had to allow myself to cry the tears for all of the parts of myself I had cut off. The process of really seeing myself has required so much patience. It is ongoing. It takes time for our fragmented selves to feel safe enough to show themselves.
The process of being seen had to start within myself but it couldn’t stop there. The longing to be seen requires the participation of others. Once we have established a practice of courageous vulnerability with our own experience we can allow others to truly see us. We can offer ourselves as imperfect and beautifully whole to the world around us.
“Because true belonging only happens when we
present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world,
our sense of belonging can never be greater than
our level of self-acceptance.”
- Brene Brown
What would it feel like for you to let yourself be seen? Are you ready to take off the masks and take the courageous step into authenticity in order to honor your heart longing to be seen? Here are some practices you might like to try in your journey of cultivating courage.
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Morning Pages. Start a practice of free-writing every morning. Before you’ve engaged with the world or switched on your phone. Put pen to paper and let it flow. Write exactly how you feel without censoring. These pages are just for you so there’s no need to change or fix anything you write. This practice allows you to get to know your inner world and give it an authentic voice. It also ignites your passion and creativity.
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Say No. Setting boundaries is necessary (and scary!) step in being seen in our authenticity. When you know that you want to say no and you say yes instead, you are undermining who you are. Say no and trust that the ones who honor your boundaries are the ones who will support you in your path of authenticity.
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Find a heart buddy. Choose someone who already sees you and supports you without judgment. Begin a practice of sharing what’s in your heart. Ask them to listen with compassion rather than the need to respond with the “right words”. Do the same for them. Practice compassionate listening as you receive the gift of seeing someone in their courageous vulnerability.
About the author:
Anisha fell in love with yoga in 2006, when she took her first class and understood this was an intimate language of movement that her body understood. Yoga became her personal medicine and practice of coming home to herself and her body. She took her first Yoga Teacher Training in 2015 and has been sharing the gift of Yoga throughout Asia since.
Her teachings draw on her background in Classical Hatha Yoga, Yoga Therapy, Somatic Vinyasa, Biodynamic Yin, Yoga Nidra and Meditation, and Self-Inquiry. She compassionately encourages students to remember who they are and experience the bliss of awakening and falling in Love with oneself.
Originally born in Canada, but fascinated with the wisdom traditions of the Eastern world, her travels eventually landed her in Bali, which she now calls home. You can contact anisha in here: anisha.rajguru@gmail.com .
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