Finding Joy in the Shadows
Finding Joy in the Shadows
We have been led to believe that the goal of our spiritual journey is the “high” experience of joy in every moment. We are taught from a young age that uncomfortable feelings like fear, anger, rage, doubt, and embarrassment are problems that need to be solved. When our tiny bodies were overwhelmed by these big feelings our well-intentioned caregivers would either tell us to stop expressing these difficult emotions or ask us what we need to make these feelings go away. We’ve been conditioned to believe that the goal in life is to feel good all the time. And yet to choose to experience only one side of all that we are able to feel as complex humans don’t leave us feeling fully alive.
So when we find ourselves in the experience of sorrow - our conditioned mind will conclude that we’ve done something wrong. That we should be experiencing something other than what we are feeling at this moment. That experience of wishing for our present reality to be different than it is both adds to the experience of discomfort and doesn’t allow us to actually move through it.
The human tendency when we find ourselves in the darkness - feeling scared and alone - is to do anything we can to make our way back to the feeling of lightness and ease. However, during these times spent in the shadows, there is so much healing and bliss available if we can stay present and open in the dark.
From the nondual teachings of Yoga and Buddhism, the ideas that we perceive to be opposite are actually not separate at all. They are so deeply connected that one cannot exist without the other. From this perspective pain and sadness are not separate from happiness and joy; they exist in one continuum of our complex human experience.
We experience difficulties in life because to be human and alive means to experience it all, to feel it all. As Tibetan Buddhist Pema Chodron writes in her book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times:
“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
When we “let there be room for all of this to happen” we can experience something beyond sorrow and happiness: bliss. This bliss is different from the peak experience we associate with happiness. Bliss is the quiet joy of experiencing life fully. The pleasure of being able to feel all that it is to be human. Bliss is the simple joy of aliveness itself.
Can you remember a time when you intentionally chose a heartbreaking movie so that you could dive deep into the experience of sorrow and weep for all that it means to be alive and human? Can you remember that experience of joy or bliss inside of the sorrow?
It’s definitely much more challenging to practice this when it’s our own story, not something on the screen, but that’s the goal of our spiritual practice.
So, how can you create room to experience bliss in challenging times?
Allow it to be exactly as it is. We add to our suffering when we try to wish it away. When we fantasize about a different reality than we are currently experiencing we create more pain. When difficult emotions start to arise you can whisper quietly to yourself “This is welcome here”.
Step back from your own story. When we let go of the label that this is “my misery” and experience the raw sensations of sadness we can allow room for the sadness to unravel and dissipate. In the full experience of the misery, there can also be bliss - the quiet knowing that feeling this is what it means to be fully alive.
Remember you’re not alone. All humans experience these same difficult emotions. While all of our stories will have different details and characters the emotions themselves are the same. When you experience the raw sensations of your emotions you can be reminded that so many others are feeling this with you - right in this moment. Can you feel the inherent bliss in knowing that you are feeling this along with so many others? Can you find joy in knowing that you are not alone?
About the author:
Anisha fell in love with yoga in 2006, when she took her first class and understood this was an intimate language of movement that her body understood. Yoga became her personal medicine and practice of coming home to herself and her body. She took her first Yoga Teacher Training in 2015 and has been sharing the gift of Yoga throughout Asia since.
Her teachings draw on her background in Classical Hatha Yoga, Yoga Therapy, Somatic Vinyasa, Biodynamic Yin, Yoga Nidra and Meditation, and Self-Inquiry. She compassionately encourages students to remember who they are and experience the bliss of awakening and falling in Love with oneself.
Originally born in Canada, but fascinated with the wisdom traditions of the Eastern world, her travels eventually landed her in Bali, which she now calls home. You can contact anisha in here: anisha.rajguru@gmail.com .
Other Topics that Could Interest You
