The Science of Happiness - Your Personal Roadmap to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life
The Science of Happiness - Your Personal Roadmap to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life
“You are the storyteller of your own life.” Isabel Allende
Happiness. It seems it has become a buzzword lately. More and more talks and courses about happiness are increasingly being offered and professors, students, researchers, influencers, are hoping on the happiness bandwagon. And yes, I’m definitely one of them too. Because who doesn’t want to be happier?
But what is happiness really? Is there a one-size-fits-all road map to it?
For far too long happiness and success have been related to each other. And today, the cultural norm is that in order to be happy you have to be successful. Does this resonate with you? That success leads to happiness? Work hard, reach your goals, thenbe happy? I used to think that way too, subconsciously, for the most part of my life. It's the TGIF mentality. Not only that, I made important choices based on other people’s expectations and other people's definition of both happiness andsuccess for me. But I was wrong.
Thankfully, the universe had other plans, and long story short, I crushed and burned too many times until I hit rock bottom, ended up leaving my successful career in sustainability, moved to Bali, and began all over.
Reinventing myself at 34 was definitely notpart of my plan, but I was lucky enough to embrace change, and see this as a blessing, which led me to be more mindful everyday, and grateful for every single opportunity, every single beautiful gift, life was providing me. Every single milestone reached was celebrated, not matter how small it seemed. And without knowing it, I was practicing some of the most simple and powerful strategies to lead a happier life: mindfulness and gratitude - more on thisin upcoming blog posts!
Back to the science of happiness. First and foremost yes, it is a science, which I am actually currently studying under the guidance of Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. He taught the most popular class in Harvard’s history, a course on Positive Psychology from which he then developed the science of happiness and has now created his own Happiness Studies Academy (Google him!). And if I can say one thing about it, it is that it not only has changed my life forever, but that I feel more powerful, empowered and at peace than I have ever felt before.
One of the aspects of it that I love the most about the science of happiness is, that nothing is written in stone. You can use any strategy, any tool as you feel it’s best for you, which will vary throughout your life. The science of happiness highly relies on knowing your best fit through experimenting. I like to say it’s like having a great toolkit at your disposal anywhere and anytime. You just need to understand them and learn to pick the right tool for you, which believe me, it gets pretty easy.
That being said, why happiness studies? Yes everyone wants to be happy and happier, but some people question if maybe studying happiness or making happiness your ultimate goal might be selfish, or even blinding towards the world's difficulties - and this is especially relevant during these days when we are living through the worst pandemic the world has faced in centuries. I’m certainly one of those persons who wonder if this is the right thing to do. I struggle about my own happiness quest when so much suffering surrounds me.
Nevertheless, the short answer to this inquiry is, that happier people contribute more to the world. Happier people are more generous and compassionate. Happier people perform better and are more creative and innovative. So yes, these are struggling times for most of us and after much research and personal experience I believe that because of thatit’s actually more important than ever to pay attention and learn from the science of happiness. When I am happier, there is no doubt, I give more. I have the energy, creativity and my hopes rise, believing that everyone can have better, fulfilling lives!
So, are you up for it? If your answer is yes, then let’s do it! In order to better understand happiness we must be aware of it’s paradox first: those who value and pursue happiness directly, will end up less happy and potentially lonely. And on the contrary, in order to fulfill our potential for happiness we must pursue it indirectly. And how do we do that? This is exactly the reason for this blog post.
The science of happiness works with the 5 wellbeing elements elaborated by Tal Ben-Shahar, Megan McDonough and Maria Sirois through the Wholebeing Institute. It proposes that we need to cultivate all of them in order to reach our highest self, develop to our highest potential and become happier every day. We call them the SPIRE elements and they are the following:
Spiritual wellbeing - Physical wellbeing - Intellectual wellbeing - Relational wellbeing - Emotional wellbeing
By working with all of these universal elements holistically, we maximize our happiness and live a truly fulfilling life. That being said, we must acknowledge that since we are all different people they all do not matter equally to all of us. So, which one is more relevant to you? By doing your SPIRE check-in you’ll be able to distribute your attention and effort consciously towards cultivating those that matter more, with the dedication and time they require without leaving out the rest. This allows you to honour who you are from your unique dreams and desires as well as your own personal strengths and abilities.
For me for example, spirituality is one of my most important elements, and for that I meditate daily, I try to be around nature as much as I can, and I’m constantly expressing gratitude. And in fact, one of the first tools that I use with my clients is the SPIRE check-in. With this, we map how fulfilled they feel with their life regarding each element based on a 1 to 10 scale system and use it to develop their own personal roadmap for their “happier journey”.
The bottom line is that success is not what leads to happiness, it’s actually happiness that leads to success. It took me years to finally realize and accept this, and letting go of my past beliefs, set me free. So if you feel stuck, feel you are missing out, or simply just believe there is more out there for you in order to live an amazingly happy, fulfilled life, this is a great starting point! I have no doubt that success is around the corner - yourdefinition of success andyour unique definition of happiness. And as the saying goes, happiness is in the journey, not the destination. So enjoy your travellsing!
I hope you find this blog post helpful, it’s a privilege for me to write it. If you'd like to receive a complete guide to the SPIRE check-in exercise you subscribe below and if you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me through my IG account: cup.ofhappy. I’d be more than happy to help!
Love and light,
Stef
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