Men and women are not equal.
There. I said it.
But the truth is, a spade is a spade. Men and women aren’t spades either, but I’m guessing that’s slightly less controversial.
What I mean is that men and women aren’t equal in the same way an orange and a banana aren’t equal. They’re both fruit, and both awesome… you just wouldn’t make a banana split with an orange. It wouldn’t make sense.
But for some reason when it comes to men and women, we’ve been lead to believe that it does make sense to think of them in the same way. Men get frustrated because they see women as overly emotional tiny men. Women get frustrated with men because they see them as big hairy women who need a little coaching.
The truth is, we’re different. We have different physiology, a different brain structure, a completely different way of thinking, feeling and processing the world. And ignoring this fact, assuming that we are the same leads to frustration and resentment with the people we love the most. AND even with ourselves.
To insert a caveat here, I’m actually talking about masculine and feminine energy rather than gender. However, chances are if you’re a man you have a masculine core and vice a versa. The first step to creating harmony in your relationships with the opposite energy is realising that it’s an opposite energy. The second – connecting with your own core on a daily basis, and the third – learning the different ways that the energies interact in order to become a better lover, friend and colleague.
This is a big topic. Far bigger than the scope of this blog. However, if something in you resonates with these ideas, or sees even a kernel of truth – join me on Wednesday the 15th for a workshop on Masculinity & Femininity. A conscious dive into the forces that shape our world. And, if you’re not going to be in paradise next week (AKA Ubud) – here’s a couple of things you can do, and some extra reading.
Three quick practices:
- Close your eyes, breathe and think of a time when you were most alive? Was it dancing? Moving? Flowing? Or creating, achieving, or accomplishing? This is a great indicator of your core energy.
- Once you know what your core is (again high chance if male it’s masculine and vice versa), do something everyday that supports it. Masculine? Lift weights. Achieve a goal. Play a sport. Feminine? Flow. Dance. Move. Nourish.
- Women, next time you ask your male partner a question, wait for an answer. Listen to the answer, wait way longer than you think is normal once the answer is finished. There’s probably more (we just communicate differently). Men, next time you see your female partner, walk up to her, pick her up, spin her round and tell her how beautiful she is.
Some extra reading;
- Allison Armstrong: Celebrating Partnership (or anything by her really, the audio books are best).
- David Deida: The Way Of The Superior Man (or anything him also. Yes ,this book is for ladies too).
That’s a good start.
Hope to see those who will be in Ubudian paradise, next Wednesday. Wherever you are, I hope today you’re being your best you.
For more details check Jame’s video on youtube.
If you are interested in diving deeper into this topic, join James for a Masculine & Feminine – In Yoga & Life Workshop on Feb 15 | 11:30-6:30pm, at Radiantly Alive Studio Ubud, Bali